Some people are arguers. Others are acceptors.
Sometimes I wish I had more of an accepting nature.
Since childhood, I have protested, argued, defended, offended, clawed, kicked, and pushed against anyone or thing with the slightest scent of oppressor.
Thankfully, the oppressing world has shrunk considerably over the years. That could be because of the whole growing up thing I did.
I still believe in standing up for yourself and others, getting what you want, and defending truth as well as imagination. I will and do fight for those things. While I fight, others are calm and agreeable and generally take what comes. Like it or not, they make the best of it.
They are the acceptors.
For a long time, I misunderstood the acceptors. To me, they were lie-down-and-diers, too passive, missers of opportunities, betrayers of self, too quick to give up on what’s right and true, and in need of a good shake. While some acceptors do fit into these categories, most are not what I thought.
They deserve so much more credit for what they do and don’t do, and for just being their kind of happy, than I’ve given them.
Now I know, now I see, that it takes strength and endurance to accept things. To put your nose down, do what needs doing, and accept things as they are because you are an adult, because it’s in your nature, because you are an acceptor is not weak. There is a low-lying grace as well as a sort of sad finesse in acceptance, where in protest there is chaos and boastfulness.
Without acceptors, the world couldn’t tolerate people like me, the arguers. There would be no balance. One needs the other. One drives the other. One allows the other to exist and flourish.
My husband is a battle-picker. He is quite adept at knowing which fights matter most and which ones are time wasters. Most are time wasters. I do not have his skill. He does what needs doing, as long as it needs doing, while I go out, argue against, and shake my fist at the need itself, dammit.
Acceptors are not lie-down-and-diers. They are silent foundation heroes, stepping aside so that our voices may be elevated. They toil in silence, doing the necessary (and rolling their eyes) while we scream and fight. They are who they are so that we can be who we are, and vice versa.
We all have roles. One is not more or less important than the other is.
Acceptors change the world as much as the arguers do. Whether acceptors accept because they have to or want to, I accept and respect the acceptors.